"Jim Spanfeller" (awesomeaustinv)
04/25/2020 at 13:01 • Filed to: None
3
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"Jim Spanfeller" (awesomeaustinv)
04/25/2020 at 13:01 • Filed to: None | 3
| 13 |
Although it is often mistaken for a Dodge Power Wagon, the D DGE (pronounced “dee-dgee”) is a completely different vehicle, as any D DGE expert will tell you. DGE was an options package on the D-series truck, with DGE standing for “Dynamically Gargantuan Engine/Ego/Emu/really anything you want “E” to stand for. Except that, you perv. Get your mind out of the gutter. You disgust me.”
It was the most macho of all D-series trucks, and some say it was the most macho truck of all time. It had to be discontinued because some men complained about the absurd quantities of hair they were sprouting due to overexposure to pure manliness. The thin yogurts. That hair is for your own protection against the sandpaper upholstery, but do the ninnies listen? Noooo... It came as standard with a 3.5 Chuck Norrispower 12 (That’s right, a engine layout. I’d explain, but only Chuck Norris understands it) turbo diesel engine cooled with bull testosterone. The advantage of this unique engine design is that its only emission is beer, although there is some debate as to whether or not this is actually manlier than just a whole lotta black smoke. If you say that to its face, though, it will punch you.
It’s so manly that the gear shift lever is shaped like a hand, so you can only shift gears if you have a firm enough handshake.
All other trucks are sissies compared to the glory of the D DGE!
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> Jim Spanfeller
04/25/2020 at 13:17 |
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Holy crap I missed the creepy stage prop (hopefully) gear shift when Just Keeping posted this yesterday. This is like waaaay waaaaaay too manly for me.
Just Jeepin'
> Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
04/25/2020 at 13:25 |
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That’s because it isn’t from the ad. I just assumed austinv was drunk last night when he commented...
Urambo Tauro
> Jim Spanfeller
04/25/2020 at 13:36 |
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And when I drive you I feel happy...
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> Just Jeepin'
04/25/2020 at 14:00 |
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Oh I see the Datsun label now.
I don't know isn't that how he normally is?
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Jim Spanfeller
> Just Jeepin'
04/25/2020 at 15:25 |
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Not drunk, just bored. I’ve been stuck at home for too long...
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Jim Spanfeller
> Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
04/25/2020 at 15:25 |
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LOL
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> Jim Spanfeller
04/25/2020 at 15:27 |
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Your days of anthropomorphising shift knobs are done! Finished! Kaput!
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Jim Spanfeller
> Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
04/25/2020 at 15:28 |
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After writing the hand thing, my curiosity got the better of me and I just had to research my own joke, which led me to that horrifying image. Which, by the way, came from a DIY TUTORIAL.
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> Jim Spanfeller
04/25/2020 at 15:30 |
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I really didn’t need to know there are enough people who want a grimy moist and uncomfortably stiff handshake every time they shift gears to warrant a DIY.
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Jim Spanfeller
> Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
04/25/2020 at 15:30 |
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When you think about it, though, it would totally make an excellent anti-theft device. Not only is it a manual, but even a thief that can drive a stick would most likely take one look at that thing and be like, “Nope, I ’m out.”
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> Jim Spanfeller
04/25/2020 at 15:31 |
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So would your girlfriends. And most guy friends for that matter.
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Jim Spanfeller
> Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
04/25/2020 at 15:50 |
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Could be worse... You could have the shifter from James May’s dune buggy...
oldmxer
> Jim Spanfeller
04/25/2020 at 16:12 |
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that was back when Chrysler/Dodge were 1st cousin to an anvil, ‘specially that slant 6